The clothes make the man
by Lena Ban Obsidian
Summary: What really happened when Serge got his body back? *grin*


_'The clothes make the man'_  
Lena

Notes: ^^; just finished writing my first FF7 fic and it turned out angsty...so here's some romantic comedy to take care of Dixxy's craving. XD! 

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With a flash of light and explosion of glass (and a few feminine sighs) Serge fell to his knees on the floor. At first, he dared not open his eyes, afraid to see the same face he'd been looking out of for the past two months. _I don't _want_ to be Lynx anymore,_ he willed silently. _I can't be Lynx anymore._

When he opened his eyes, the face he'd always known as his was looking back at him in a puddle of water. He smiled, immensely relieved, and stood, starting towards the great double doors, an exclamation of joy on his lips. 

And then he realized...to his great dismay...that he was not wearing clothing. 

No bandana. No purple socks. 

No nothing. 

His good cheer quickly gave way to embarrassment, and he paused, now looking at the doors in apprehension. He'd brought Steena and Riddel with him. He did _not_ want them to see him naked, but he couldn't very well stay in here until they went and got something appropriate for him to wear. To his chagrine, he did not have any of his supplies, having handed them over to Steena before entering the room, Dragon Tear in hand. 

There was no help for it. He was going to have to tell them. 

"Steena?" 

The priestess turned her head, a confused frown creasing her brow when only Serge's head peeking through the door met her eyes. Riddel had gone off to find a suitable place to relieve herself in the ruins; she stepped forward. "Serge? I take it you've reclaimed your body." 

He nodded, but shied away, pulling the door a little closer when she stepped closer. 

"Is something the matter?" She asked, puzzled. 

Looking about anxiously, he finally nodded. "I um...need to ask you favor." The blush suffusing his face, combined with his odd behavior and her knowledge of the Dragon Tear (limited though it might be), gave her an idea to what the favor might be. 

She couldn't help the wry chuckle, but she kept her smile understanding for the boy's sake. "Lost your clothes, did you?" 

His blush was more than enough of an answer. "Do we have anything in the supply bags that I can wear 'til we get back to Arni?" He asked sheepishly, voice barely above a whisper. Being in the company of the two women made him nervous enough as it was. He was not at all pleased to be in such a position, and especially with Glenn's idol, though Riddel didn't seem to be anywhere in sight. 

Taking pity on him, Steena rummaged through their travel packs and pulled out a few articles of clothing. "A pair of boots you can use, and a spare pair of those socks of yours." She smiled teasingly at him while he looked at the ground, face quite red. She continued to search and produced one pair of underwear that didn't look to be too uncomfortable-- though Serge squirmed at the sight of white lace-- and finally finished with a slight sigh of defeat, glancing at him. He peered back at her, still hiding behind the door, fear in his eyes. 

"What is it?" He ventured timidly. 

She frowned, hands on her hips, and gave him a measuring look. "Well, the only thing you might be able to wear is one of those dresses we've collected that aren't being worn right now." Blue eyes widened, and his skin went ashen. "But the only one that might fit you is the Scaly Dress. I'm not sure." 

Reddening again, he tried to deny it. "A dress?! Th-there's gotta be something else in there! There's no way..." 

Steena pursed her lips and said nothing. 

Serge hung his head. "Do I _have_ to?" He whined softly, looking as pitiful as he felt. She shrugged. 

"Miss Riddel will probably be back soon. I doubt she'll have anything, but if you think she might have proper supplies..." 

Sighing defeat, he shook his head no. 

"Then get dressed. Shoo." She tossed him the clothes and turned her back in a demonstration of propriety. 

Serge stared forlornly down at the bundle in his arms, admitted defeat, and started to slip the garments on. The underwear itched slightly, but there was really nothing he could do about that. Next he put on the socks and the shoes, and finally, he stared down resignedly at the Scaly Dress. At first he wasn't entirely sure he'd be able to fit into it, until he realized it laced up in the back. While this meant it would adjust enough to fit decently, it also meant he'd have to let Steena lace him up. 

He undid the strings, slipped on the dress, and, suffused with shame, stepped out to present his back to Steena. 

"You done?" She asked politely. 

Fighting an overwhelming urge to cry at the injustice of the situation, he answered in a subdued voice. "It laces up in the back. I...can't reach the ties." 

Perhaps realizing his emotional state, she laced him up without further ado, loosening them a little when he gasped in surprise at how tight a fit it was. All in all, it was a serviceable alternative, if acutely embarrassing. What bothered him most was the manner that his hips curved, particularly feminine in the confines of the dress. His legs, girlishly smooth, didn't help to soothe his disposition; by the time Riddel returned, he was ready to run all the way home in search of his own clothes. 

The trip back out of Fort Dragonia was uneventful, not even the bats daring to bother them with Serge's glare aimed at any and all would-be enemies. Steena and Riddel traded amused looks and refrained from saying anything about the outfit. Once outside, they stopped for lunch and discussed plans of where to go from there. "We're going back to Arni," Serge said darkly when the subject arose. "I'm not wearing this thing any longer than absolutely necessary, and that's final." 

Steena winked at Riddel and, in her most reasonable tones, tried to change his mind. "It'd be better if we went to Viper Manor, Serge...Riddel needs to go home, and I'm sure there's plenty of suitable clothing you could change into once we got there." 

He looked at her in shock and shook his head furiously. "No! Absolutely not!" A deep blush rose to stain his cheeks. "Every Acacian Dragoon would see me in this," he muttered, clearly not fond of the idea. 

Riddel pouted as cutely as she possibly could, knowing the effect it had on men of all preferences. "I really do need to get home, Serge. I can't leave matters hanging at the Manor for too long, or things will become difficult to manage." 

They could see him wavering, and finally he let a suffering sigh communicate his answer, and finished his lunch in silence. 

Before the sun had set, they made their way back through Mount Pyre, running into scant few of the monsters there. The next day brought them halfway to Termina on foot, and the third saw them approaching Viper Manor as the afternoon was starting to fade into evening. Though he'd ceased (somewhat) to notice the dress and its odd shape, Serge was by no means unaware of the stares sent his way by the Dragoons guarding the front gate. If possible, his face was redder than ever it had been before by the time they reached the front door. 

To Serge's intense displeasure, the Dragoon standing guard at the door was none other than Glenn, whose eyes locked first on Riddel. "Miss Riddel! You're back!" 

Riddel smiled softly and demurred as was only proper. "I'm glad that I was missed, Glenn." 

Earnest as always, the blond dragoon took one step forward in his wish to show his sincerity. "All of the dragoons feel your absence as much as we appreciate your presence, Miss Riddel. You know it is true!" 

Steena stifled a smile, while Riddel grinned openly. "Good to see you too, Glenn." It was only when they were about to pass him that Glenn noticed the third member of their group. His blue eyes widened comically and he leaned forward as if unsure of the evidence of his eyes. 

"...Serge?!" 

Blushing furiously, Serge shrugged in defense and walked past, silent, while Riddel laughed gaily, Steena only shaking her head. "I really do feel sorry for the poor boy," she chuckled. "But I'm enjoying this whole trip a great deal more than I'd expected." 

Glenn watched them go, mouth agape. 

Several hours later, Serge found himself wandering the streets of Termina by lampglow, less than pleased, more familiar clothing on his back and the embarrassment becoming a memory. He scowled to himself. He wasn't going to invite either of those women along in the near future if he could help it. Served them both right. Geez. 

He finally ended up leaning on the railing of the bridge, looking down into the water, tired but not sleepy. He wasn't sure where he'd spend the night; Steena was at the inn, Riddel at Viper Manor, and he didn't ever want to see either of them again, if he could help it. He sighed. Just his luck to have no one around who'd help him out when he really needed it. 

A hand tapped his shoulder. "Hey there. Need a place for the night?" 

Despite himself, he colored again to hear Glenn's apologetic voice and lowered his head further. "Yeah," he mumbled, not feeling as grateful as he knew he ought. Glenn stepped up beside him and leaned over the railing haphazardly, balancing with the ease of practice. 

"Want to talk?" 

"No." He shrugged. "I'd say the situation speaks for itself." 

Glenn smiled a little, but somehow it didn't seem mocking, the way Steena's smile had. "Rather, it screams. You know that half the guard actually thought you were..." He paused, searching for the most delicate way to put it. "Female." 

Blushing miserably, he turned away from the young Dragoon, miffed. "It's not my fault. We didn't have anything in the supplies I could wear, and Steena laced it up as tight as she could without suffocating me. I wasn't _trying_ to--" 

A finger on his lips interrupted him, and he peered back at Glenn in curiosity. That same secretive little smile was on the Dragoon's lips. "I know you weren't trying, Serge, but you looked _hot_ in that thing. So stop being modest. You can't help it if you're beautiful." 

That left him speechless and lost for what to do next, so it was just as well that Glenn did it for him. 

The distance between them closed in a second from two feet to milimeters apart, and his mouth fell open in shock just as Glenn's lips found his. They kissed deeply, tentative tongues exploring each other's mouths in innocent wonder, while the lamplight shone down in singular beams up and down the street. The dust swimming the in the light made everything seem hazy, the slight chill breeze giving them the excuse to embrace each other and press the kiss deeper. 

They broke apart and smiled at each other, both pleasantly surprised. 

"So...will you take me up on my offer?" Glenn asked quietly, that smile still on his face. It suited him, to smile, and Serge wondered idly why he didn't do so more often. 

"Offer?" 

"You can spend the night in the cabin with me and the kids," he explained, motioning back towards the building in question, whose windows shone with candles. 

He smiled back. "I think I will." 

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~end~


End file.
